Right before I left Buffalo, my grandfather slipped me a sum of money and told me that I could only spend it on something that was “completely unnecessary.” And then, for my birthday (RIP teenage years), my other set of grandparents gave me life insurance.* I think that had they spoken with each other, they would’ve realized that it is stupid to give a teenager both of these at once. I mean…because…the result of money plus life insurance is obviously sky diving. In a third world country.
It was great. I love you all.
*This whole life insurance thing is pretty interesting because it means that my life is suddenly worth something. To that extent, here’s my quick, unofficial will:
(in order of monetary value)
-pink bike – to whomever can ride it down my driveway – clipped in and alive
-computer – to whomever wants the piece of shit. Have fun.
-clothes – only to someone truly deserving and appreciative of their preppiness. I’m thinking that my cousins will all have sweet wardrobes when they turn 16.
-textbooks – to the only person who won’t throw them out (my dad)
-board games – shall be “auctioned” off in a game of round robin tournaments on each. Winner chooses which game she wants etc etc.
-lacrosse shiz – let’s be serious…Ddubz has already eaten all of it anywayz
-trip around the world – (priceless) – to the lucky person who can both pass as me in my passport picture and put up with my spaz attack of a roommate (love you Darcy)