Today we had to go scuba diving again. If you don’t already know how I felt about this, I will quote myself: “No. I do not like scuba diving.”
We just had a few more of the “elements” to do today in
order to get our open water scuba certification. This is apparently a valuable achievement
if you ever plan on scuba diving again in your life. (I don’t.) I tried to
explain this to my instructor but I think he was concerned about getting paid so
he gave me a pep talk and got me back out there.
One of the “elements” we had to do was take off our BCDs [buoyancy
control devices…aka…fancy life jackets] in the open water and put it back on.
This obviously sounds like a stupidly simple process, but remember that I had
issues the day before transferring from my snorkel to my respirator while
keeping my head underwater. (BUT IN WHAT SITUATION WOULD YOU NOT JUST PICK YOUR
HEAD UP AND BREATHE THE ACTUAL AIR THAT IS ABOVE THE WATER IF YOU’RE IN A PLACE
WHERE YOU CAN USE A FREAKING SNORKEL ANYWAYS??)
So obviously, getting the BCD back on in choppy water was a
pain and required a lot of rolling around in the water. Cory and I actually
both put our respirators back in as the rolling required to get the straps to
connect was too unpredictable for somebody who likes breathing (even if it is
through her mouth). And then we, of course, rolled right into each other. I
actually kind of liked this because it meant that I could use Cory as leverage
to stabilize.
What I did not like was, when we emerged with our vests haphazardly
re-attached to our bodies, our instructor made a joke: “Just can’t keep you two
off each other.”
Umm yes…it’s actually quite easy to keep me and Cory off
each other. Considering we are not (and never have been) romantically involved
and we basically know way too much about each other (read: really only
applicable one way) to ever care to be romantically involved. But that moment,
when I was struggling to stay afloat, to breathe, and to not cry, did not seem
like the right moment to correct our instructor.
The problem is, there had been A LOT of a “not right”
moments to correct people making assumptions about our relationship. For
example, when our instructor had us practice the “tired diver push”, he told
Cory that he could “whisper sweet nothings into [my] ear”. Again, though, this
was while I was in scuba gear so I was in no shape to correct anybody. On
another occasion, a fellow patron of the hotel said to me “here comes your
hubby” right as I said “here comes Cory” and in our awkward speaking over each
other, I forgot to correct him until the moment had long since passed (although
will never be forgotten).
Granted, we didn’t have that much going for us, proving our
case otherwise. For one, we were vacationing together on a remote beach in
Africa. Even all my American friends I had told about this trip assumed I was
being coy with my use of the word “friend” to describe Cory. Additionally, we
were sharing a bed. Although…I maintain that this was all Cory’s fault.**And
then, on top of all of that, we’ve just done a lot of activities together…I mean…we’ve celebrated
our birthdays together in Namibia, snuck
off the MV Explorer in the Bahamas, and actually, I’ll just throw it out
there, that I titled the blog post about our time together in Malaysia “My
Honeymoon”***. And in between all these adventures, we went to college
together, which had its own set of adventures. I also have a tendency to call
everyone babe. So, for example, a fellow patron at the hotel might overhear a
conversation like this:
Me: Babe [referring to Cory], I dislocated my shoulder doing
remedial scuba today.
Cory: Oh really? Again??
Me: Yeah…[giggling]…remember when I did it while we were
taking sailing classes together?
Cory: [Manly giggling] haha yeah…but thank god you’ve never
done it during the many late nights we’ve spent together in college playing
pong together!
Me: [Girly giggling] or like when we’ve been sleeping
together in the same bed during this trip which is still slightly less romantic
than our trip in Malaysia together!
No, we weren’t doing ourselves too many favors trying to convince
our instructor that we were not, in fact, together.
 |
| Accurately captures a lot of our relationship. I love you Cory!* |
 |
| I intended to post a picture of my **Scuba certification** here, but my smarter self apparently foresaw a problem with my trying to make use of it at some point again in my life and went and hid it from my stupider self. So, instead, you get a picture of the fish dinner at our favorite restaurant in Tofo beach. We ate there a lot and never once fully knew what was going to come out, but we loved it every time. And we loved the price more. |
*But, to be fair, I say that to everybody.
**However, if anybody wished to really look into the details
of it, I don’t really call it “sharing a bed” when you literally place a coat
rack in the bed to separate the two people. Cory said he did this because he
didn’t like my attempts to cuddle with him (while fast asleep, in the middle of
the night). I handled this searing rejection by telling myself that it helped
me because it prevented him from stealing the covers. Or at least, proved that
he stole the covers.
***Please note the
last line of this post: “So I have now given up on my goals of learning
Hindi and being in the CIA – now I want to become a full-time scuba
diver/instructor and maybe even make my own documentary about fish. Or just
run away and find Nemo. Something like that.”
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